sundays are for lie-ins amiright? well, i was up way past my bedtime last night - the rents were out on the town much too late for my liking - so I extra slept in this morning. it's all about lazy sundays.
my mum met this really fly guy the other day - dave cornthwaite. i guess he's the founder of this #sayyesmore campaign and he's done all these wild adventures and written a bunch of books about them. fair enough. so mum comes home and is all INSPIRED and throws a human t-shirt on me and makes me pose for about 20 pictures. fantastic.
so that was annoying. but then i find out this dave guy loved the pic and has promoted it (and my blog) on his twitter and facebook, hooking me up with some serious PR if i don't say so myself. totes worth the impromptu photo shoot after all.
so i guess i owe him right? WRONG. i don't owe no dave nothin! but what i WILL give him is flattery - because i'm stealing one of his particularly cool ideas, and everyone knows imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.
dave's been taking selfies of himself for the last 1000 days. what started off for him as a fun project to see his facial progression over the 2.7 years turned into memories and incentive to do something interesting and meet cool people on a daily basis. i super feel that, so i'm starting my own project. no way can i do 1000 days, or at least i won't commit to it at this stage, because i'm a dog. so what i will do is commit to 1000 days in dog years, which works out to be 143 days, which means 143 shots of my mug for y'all to see daily - hope your not sick of it yet!
we'll see what happens along the way and afterwards, but in the meantime stay tuned. you can count on my hair growing, and then looking like a damn poodle when my hair gets cut. i can only guess i'll be dirtier some days more than others, in wimbledon or richmond park on my afternoon walks, and posing with tennis balls, bones, and socks - whatever i can get my chops on really. i hope you'll send me your selfies too, and when i reach day 143 i might just do something special with it all.
stay tuned to find out, and get ready for #143daysofme
in honour of dave's 1000th day, TODAY, here's my day 1 selfie:
i present to you, skype pooch, a candid video my mom took at my most vulnerable. i really dig talking to my grandpa overseas and as a result, noises i don't usually make tend to come bursting out of me mid conversation. it's embarrassing for sure, but if it'll bring in the ratings i really must post this video.
russell is my older labrador cousin living in Canada by the way, gosh i miss that guy.
put your volume up and get ready for the 32 second mark.
so i've got a sweet little garden, all to myself. i call it a "garden" because i live in england and that's what we call the space outside the back of our flats, regardless of whether or not it actually has grass in it. luckily, mine does.
don't ask me why, but i get SUPER worked up every time mom and dad open up the door to let me out there. i'm LITERALLY programmed to hear the tingle the keys make, and no matter where i am in the flat, i'm booking it to the door. i just can't WAIT to check out the new smells and scare off any sneaky birds or squirrels who are up in my space. also, i have to pee.
i guess the rents don't like all the racket i make for this daily event, because they've clearly conspired against me and now there's a whole process that goes into letting me out. a PROCESS to be let out to my own darn garden!
because i think you should care, it goes a little something like this:
STEP 1 - PATIENCE
i have a little seat out in the hall with the lure of treats above me and the knowledge of knowing i'll be outside soon coaxing me into sitting quietly and VERY still.
STEP 2 - EAGER BEAVER
i sneak a peak around the corner, bursting at the seams to get out there. i'm SORRY mom - i couldn't take the SUSPENSE.
STEP 3 - REPEAT STEP 1
back in my box. damn.
STEP 4 - LET'S DO THIS!
run as FAST as i can out the door. not a second to waste!
STEP 5 - INVESTIGATE
at this point a lot of huffing and puffing ensues as i'm nose-to-the-ground, smelling every blade of grass for the scent of intruders. and if i find one? it's OVER. (i bark a lot.)
STEP 6 - VICTORIOUS
having peed everywhere so there's no mistake about whose territory this is, i stand on my perch for all to see - tucker, king of this GARDEN!
this is how i look at 5AM when the alarm goes off and mom and dad are getting out of bed.
i know right, pretty cute, but if you look closely that glean in my eye is one of disbelief! i'm VERY comfy right now, mom and dad, so if it's okay with you i'm going to sit this one out.
i'd like to go back to sleep after the RUDE interruption, but now they're putting on their running shoes and i can't help but think, walk?! no, no they're going out without me, this is awkward... you go ahead guys, like i said, sitting this one out if it's alright with you.
what feels like seconds later i find myself in a compromising position. mom and dad are looking over me with grins on their faces as i lay there exposed, and now embarrassed.
red faced under my curls, i then proceed to sneak licks of their red faces while they sit on the rug contorting in strange positions that look far from comfortable. after i've achieved my salt quota for the day i'm about to saunter off back to back to bed, when out comes my leash and i say to myself, watch out world, i'm coming for ya, and i NEED to pee.
is that they're shifty. and i just don't like humans of the shifty variety, okay? so sue me.
i mean, just LOOK at these two kids physically attacking that poor man. they just don't have any MANNERS. amiright?
so if we can all agree that they're dangerous, who was the genius who decided to make kid sized bicycles? when was the last time you saw a kid bike in a straight line? NEVER. you've never seen it. don't even get me STARTED on scooters.
i don't even blame the kids if i'm honest. i blame their moms and dads who give them the mini bicycles and the freedom to move about as they see fit. why can't more parents be like the ones who own this kid? he's contained, harmless, maybe even a little cute.
i know what you're thinking and no, no i'm not scared of kids. i mean they ARE terrifying, but i don't FEAR them, necessarily.
okay, maybe the ones on scooters. those ones i fear.
pretty hard to miss really, it's not every day i spot bears in my park.
so naturally i just lose it on him. granted, he was a good 30 feet away, but you can't prove i wouldn't have done the same had he been in biting reach. i would have, i WOULD have.
then my favourite thing happened. these humans, who i don't even KNOW, made some really cute crack about how small i am, and how big the bear is. "you're better off letting this one go little buddy, he's a big one!" thanks for that, i hadn't noticed that the bear is pretty big. he just looked like a normal BEAR to me.
jokes on him though - that bear just sulked away cause he KNEW he'd been told.